When You Don't Love Me Anymore
by Shatterdoll
Summary: Drabble. America attacks England over some of his insecurities and fears for the future.


This would be... mmm a drabble I guess. It's kind of random. I wrote it after having a political discussion with someone a while back. It's vaguely inspired by her opinion and my opinion mixed together. Even if you don't get it, if you choose to read it I hope you enjoy.

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England sipped his tea. The room was dark, the fire the sole source of illumination. It splashed across their faces in eerie patterns. England did not look at America.

"Well what do you have to say?"

The cup paused mid-air between saucer and lips. "...I have nothing to say to you."

America paced restlessly. "Nothing? You have _nothing _to say? Nothing to say about what's happening to me?"

A soft sigh. England put the cup down, aside. "And what am I supposed to say?"

The coldness stung. "You ruined me, all of you ruined me!"

He ran his fingers through hair, pulling it despairingly. "I never should have let you in, you made me dirty! You made me filthy with your manifest destiny and diseases and your corruption and your hate!"

England looked up dispassionately at his former colony. "You inherited it. It was no longer mine. You did with it as you wished."

America looked like he could strike him for a moment, lip twitching violently. "Fuck you England. Fuck you!"

England watched him blankly as he continued to pace. America finally paused, turning to England again. "Will you? If I fall... will you be there to help me back up? I suppose you'll abandon me won't you? All of you will. You don't really love me... No, when push comes to shove you don't love me at all do you? None of us love anything. Not one god damn thing. All we love is ourselves!"

A wave of irritation. England clicked his tongue in disgust. "Stop acting like a child."

America snapped at him, voice reverberating through the room. "I am a child! I am a child, Arthur! Fuck!"

A sob escaped America and he buried his face in hands for a moment. Finally he pulled away, glaring accusingly at England. "Why...? Why would you let me become so powerful? I hate you... I hate you...! Why does it have to be me when I'm so young? Why does everyone always have to depend on me? Go find a new support system. If I'm going to fall you don't need me anyway right?"

"You think any of us let you do anything? You did what you wanted. Don't be so selfish. You are not the only one who is suffering."

America shook his head slowly, the words slipping over him unheeded. "...I don't need any of you. I'll prove I can do it. Even if I fall, even if no one will be there to help me back up I'll stay alive. I don't care if I get ripped to pieces. I will prove that I can stand on my own two feet! I don't need you!"

England sighed very softly, looking into the dying glow of the fire. "No one loves you when you're down Alfred, that's just the way it is."

"But I rebuilt you didn't I? I helped didn't I?" America asked frantically, nearly hysterical.

England's voice was flat when he responded. "You weren't poor. You had the money. It was different then."

America let out a dry, humorless laugh. "Different..."

An uneasy silence settled over the room. America spoke after a time in a hoarse whisper.

"Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

England glanced at him. "Am I supposed to be impressed?"

America shook his head slowly. "I will take them all... I will take them all and even if it kills me, even if it has killed me already, I will be... I will be everything you have never been. Even if my dream was broken... even if in the end it was wrong... I tried so hard to be that dream. I wanted to be that dream. I still want to be..."

He gave England a look so heartbreaking it took his breath away. "Is it so hopeless after all?"

"..." The Englishman wished he could embrace the young nation, assure him that it was alright. But it wasn't that easy. He looked away again, lips firmly sealed.

"I'd like to have more hope than that. I'd like to believe, and I will believe until you prove me wrong, that we are capable of such love. I have nothing else to say to you. Goodbye England."

America left the room. A few moments later England heard the front door bang closed. Silence once again, the crackle of the fire becoming a dull roar.

England leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "I hope that if such a day comes I will be able to prove that love as well...My dearest America, I truly hope you are the one that is right this time."


End file.
